The Controller.

Achieve oneness with the Controller.

The Controller allows you access to the heart of the Nintendo. It always has, and always shall, hallowed be its name. Wherein the Game provideth visual stimulation, and whereas the AC Adapter doth provide electrical consort, and the Power Button from whence henceforth dothe sprungeth the Shiny Red Light; thereby doth the Controller provideth the means by whicheth to Interface with Nintendo Itself.

The Controller gives access to Mario.

Sayeth Miyamoto, Father of Mario - hallowed be his Name - "Withith the Controller can one Control Mario."

To Control Mario, one must have a Controller.

Before the Second Coming of Revolution - scheduled for May 16 - the absence of Controller is painful. To ward off feelings of doom, partake in the Sacrament:
Build a Nintendo Revolution Controller for yourself. Seek comfort in the infinite possibilities.

Seek out this website: http://claudiotosado.vilabol.uol.com.br/nintendocontrollerfakeeditor/

And be merry.

Seriousgamer007 is a False Prophet.

Believe not the lies of SeriousGamer007. He is a False Prophet, sent by the Anti-Mario.

Among his Heinous Lies:

Issuing false system specifications for the Revolution.
Declaring a false system name for the Revolution.
Falsifying a release date for the Revolution.

Be it known that Revolution will launch May 24, 2006, in the United States. Not a moment earlier, nor later.

The system specifications have not yet been revealed. In time, they will be revealed through Nintendo's divine authorities. I am their mouthpiece. Only I--and other Followers of Mario declared herein on this website--have the temporal and spiritual authority to speak for Nintendo.

Finally, the system name is Nintendo Revolution. Those who claim otherwise falsely claim the mantel of Super Mario at their own mortal peril.

Hillary Clinton hates videogames. She's the Anti-Mario.

Making a speech about Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas:

"We need to treat violent videogames the same way we treat tobacco or alcohol."
- Senator Hillary Clinton (D - New York)

No we don't, you stupid senator. GTA isn't addictive. It isn't habit-forming. It won't impair your driving, ruin your liver, give you lung cancer, or get you kicked out of the Mormon church.

It's a videogame. A TV toy.

Joe Lieberman (D - Mass.) said the same kind of crap a few years ago when he campaigned for the presidency at UCSD. This is why I hate senators.

So I was talking with this heathen....

Heathen: hey
Bommerman5: hi
Heathen: just wanted to let you know something......might make u angry
Heathen: i just purchased a SONY PSP
Bommerman5: good, they'll need the extra sales.
Heathen: hahahaha.......u think ur a funny guy huh?
Heathen: Dan Dan......u have much to learn
Heathen: who du think will have higher sales....nintendo revolution or PS3?
Bommerman5: PS3, of course
Heathen: exactly
Heathen: any sony unit will have higher sales than a nintendo unit....despite the higher price
Heathen: so why du say nintendo is so great?
Bommerman5: nintendology.blogspot.com
Bommerman5: It's my religion.
Bommerman5: You must have faith, young one.
Heathen: uh huh
Bommerman5: seriousgamer007.blogspot.com
Bommerman5: That guy's even crazier
Heathen: nintendo no longer dominates the computer entertainment industry
Bommerman5: It was never in the computer entertainment industry.
Bommerman5: In fact, in the early years of the NES, it went to great pains to differentiate itself from computers.
Heathen: u kno what i mean
Heathen: the gaming industry
Bommerman5: No, you're right, obviously it's not dominant in home consoles.
Bommerman5: That doesn't mean anything. I still like it better. Its still more profitable than Microsoft's videogame division.
Heathen: i hate microsoft
Heathen: but sony is cool
Heathen: nintendo does not have much to offer to gamers anymore
Heathen: sony outdoes them every time
Heathen: u see?
Bommerman5: Nope. Outdoes them in terms of what?
Bommerman5: Overall sales? Quality of games released?
Heathen: all
Bommerman5: I'd argue that Nintendo's games are superior to Sony's.
Bommerman5: Conventional wisdom is that if Nintendo became a software-only company, like Sega, and published games for all platforms, it would be the largest and most successful software-producing games company on the planet, eclipsing Electronic Arts.
Heathen: hmm
Heathen: ok
Heathen: but what does that have to do wit it?
Heathen: im saying that sony makes better consoles and sales and games
Heathen: games is arguable
Bommerman5: Nintendo's games aren't as good as Sony's.
Heathen: but the other two are not
Bommerman5: The PS2 was an inferior system
Bommerman5: pixelated at times
Heathen: Sony has many more hits than nintendo
Bommerman5: Gran Turismo for PS1 ran smoother on Bleemcast on teh Dreamcast than it did on the PS2. That's how bad it was.
Bommerman5: Sony has more hits?
Bommerman5: No, 3rd-party publishers have sold more on a system with a greater installed user base. That's not Sony. That's like saying "IBM has more hits than Apple". IBM makes the computers, not the stuff than runs on them.
Heathen: ic
Bommerman5: And if you add up Nintendo's sales over the years, it amounts to 2 billion games, a number no other company even comes close to.

You see, I must argue with certain heathens using "logic." Appealing to their greater sense of place in the universe or to their unconscious spiritual longing for a personal relationship with Super Mario won't work with these logic-minded individuals.

Revolution Revelation

Mario appeared to me in a vision today.

He was wearing a red hat with an M on it, so I know it was him.

As I sat in figurative and literal darkness, watching War of the Worlds in Oakridge Mall's gigantic atrocity of a movie theater, the screen went dark. Dead silence. The crowd seemed not to notice; only I could see Him.

Yes, Him.

Mario.

He floated down from the screen on a white cloud that dropped Spinys onto the plush floor. Fortunately, Oakridge has tiered, "theater"-style seating in its theater, keeping me safe from the Spinys.

Mario told me that Nintendo's Revolution will launch on May 24, 2006. We now have a firm release date.

A Revolutionary Prophecy

Nintendo on Revolution Controller

Fewer buttons and analog sticks than the norm are a near certainty, according to new comments.

[Nintendo's new game system] Revolution's controller -- like the console itself -- may be simplified in order to appeal to consumers traditionally uninterested in complex, male-dominated videogames.

Revolutionary. The new controller will appeal to those who have not yet experienced the Glory of Nintendo, while drawing the unfaithful heathen back into the fold.

Testimonials

Testimonials of Nintendo religious experiences and miracles.

From our first convert, Lara:

"during the school year, my brothers would never do their homework
so after they played their video games, i played mom and said things like, "what
are you learning?"

then my brother, aaron, replies, "always be prepared
for an ambush"

and let's face it -- he's right"

From our second convert, Robin:

I remember the first time I saw a Nintendo. I had to shift about, trying
to get a glimpse through the hordes of children surrounding it. I would
have just pushed my way through, but they were bigger and stronger; they
were my sister’s friends, and this was my sister’s birthday party – and
yes, that beautiful piece of machinery was now my sister’s.

The authority and tyranny of my big sister kept the Nintendo from my
complete possession for the next few years. The system was mine to play
on, but only when she was out of the apartment, or taking a nap, or
getting in trouble with Mum….otherwise, it was like good food under
communism; sparingly enjoyed, and gobbled up greedily with the knowledge
that it’s enjoyment would soon cease.

Nevertheless, I honed my Nintendo skills back in those early days, when
there was only one consol. I took quickly to the precepts and principles;
I was soon able to defeat several castles, saving the princess from the
corrupt and sinful Bowser. Those were the early days, but the glory was
not far off.

My patience and dedication was awarded when I was 10. Then, in that
fateful year, I was given my due; a Super NES system. This one was to be
mine – mine for all eternity and past the realms of death! Oh how I
rejoiced! I quickly acquired my fair share of scripture; all the
girly-games a girl could want. Beethoven, Aladdin, Animaniacs, the world
was my burrito. When I had sleep- overs, all the girls wanted to come –
they knew what I had stored away up in my office, glowing with the
effervescent light of the divine! We would spend hours playing Super Mario
Brothers, Mario All Stars, and the Lion King. What peace of mind
accompanies childhood with the help of a pair of Italian brothers.

And what is more; Nintendo released my urge to learn. Nobody else, not
even my girlfriends, really like “Mario is Missing!” but I loved it. I
could travel the world and learn it’s history while killing koopas and
riding Yoshi! All I know about San Francisco, Sydney and Beijing I owe to
“Mario is Missing!”.

As I grew older, of course, my faith faded, but such is the tragic effect
of age. Yet I’ve never left behind completely my Nintendo inspired moments
of innocence; I still remember well the day I sat in class in 5th grade,
thinking of nothing but getting home and playing that awesome level in the
last world in Super Mario World where the rhinoceros things crawl around.
And indeed, for a kid, especially a girl, honed Nintendo skills were a
useful quality to have. Who knows how much easier it made these fragile
and yet dynamic times. One thing is for certain, it was always fun playing
it with Daddy. Man, could I kick his ass

Got a testimonial? A time when Nintendo has made a difference in your life? When Mario saved you from a life of despair and despondency?

Accept Nintendo. Cast away the evils of Sony and Microsoft, and all others who've come before and who shall come after.

The Founding: Nintendo as Religion

Nintendo Corporation, Ltd. A company, or a religious movement on par with the greatest cults of our time?

I argue the latter.

Inspired by the Believer who publishes seriousgamer007.blogspot.com, I have come to realize that my religion is, in fact, Nintendo. Nintendology. The Church of Nintendo.

It's a work in progress.

Think I'm as crazy as Tom Cruise? Before unfavorably comparing my sanity to John Travolta's, look deep into your own heart, and you'll discover that you, too, have more in common with Nintendo than your current religion.

Your faith in Nintendo will grow as you read faith-promoting literature, and logically, emotionally, confront the modern-day miracles produced by Nintendo:

When was the last time you saw Jesus? I'll tell you right now, I last saw Mario in 2002. He appeared to me in San Francisco's Little Italy district, alongside the world's largest bowl of pasta.

The world's largest. A modern-day miracle.

How many actual, physical, tangible pieces of pure joy has your religion produced? Nothing, except perhaps Rastafarian's blunts, can evoke unbridled happiness that even approaches that of Super Mario Bros. 3. Recall the Ritual of inserting the cartridge into the NES, pushing the Power button, watching the flashing/mesmerizing pink and green screen, turning off the NES, removing the game and blessing it with your own life's breath, reinserting the cartridge into its holy Mantle, Praying that the Game works, and ultimately letting loose a cry of ecstasy as the familiar "ding" sounds, and the title screen appears. Rejoice!